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                      medi-jokes & toons
                                            

( contributed by Dr Amer Hussain Agha & Dr Arif Sohail Sheikh)
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DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you with his bills.
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you r early.
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine.
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to end all inventions.
RUMOUR:
News that travels at the speed of sound.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,but do not read.
DICTIONARY:
The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
MARRIAGE:
Its an arrangement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OPTIMIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
(contributed by Dr Amer Hussain Agha)
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I want to lose some weight
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off
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I have good news and bad news
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
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What should I do then?
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!
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The prison hospital
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
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How much will this cost me?
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $100.00.
Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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I can't find the cause of your pain
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due
to drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"
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A very interesting fact
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!
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